Lessons Learned From Tiger Woods-Is a New Norm Being Established?

It has taken me well over a week to muster up the courage to write this Blog. I say muster up the courage because I was a huge fan of Tiger Woods primarily due to his perceived stand as a father and husband coupled with the fact that he was a great athlete. In the line of work I am in, character, integrity, honesty and loyalty mean a lot. There are so few athletes and entertainers that exhibit these traits that I get real excited when I see one that does. Let me start off by saying how truly disappointed I am in the decision made by arguably the most talented athlete of the century. He had a beautiful wife, a beautiful family, and this was not enough. We often talk about kids having an entitlement mentality but we hardly ever speak of adults having the same. He must have felt that he was entitled to do whatever he wanted to do because he was so wealthy and had so much influence. Unfortunately for him and his family, it backfired. For his young kids and current wife, they will live with this stigma forever. They will always be known as the kids of the man who decided to cheat on their mom with all kinds of women from all kinds of backgrounds (most not to good.)

Tiger’s situation is directly connected to a bigger problem in our country, the problem of overexposure to valueless behavior. Reality shows pay big money for people who can stir up chaos, people are doing anything they can to get negative exposure so that they can write a book or get a talk show and the concept of family as we know it is being destroyed by people who do not believe in it. Who would have ever thought in the 60’ and 70’s that we would need parent blocks on television sets? Who could have imagined that youth would use social networking and texting to communicate vial and deplorable messages to one another? If a parent shows up while they are communicating to their peers they type in “POS” (Parent Over Shoulder.) Ladies and gentleman we are heading down a path that one day we will all pay for if we do not wake up and do something about it. Yes, parents play a big role and are extremely important; however, I know of many good parents who have lost their children due to overexposure to crude behavior. Their diversion from family values is often derived from the expectations of their peers at school and in the community to “conform or be rejected.” This is a secondary problem that is emerging; many negative youth are driving societal behaviors and expectations. Excuse my terrible example but the “animals” are running the “farm.”

We need for as many people as possible to step up and become accountable. We rational, logical thinking adults can no longer stick our heads in the sand and say “it is somebody else’s responsibility.” I say this because the kid that is ignored today may be the same one who is robbing our homes tomorrow. We need for schools, communities, churches and organizations to collaborate around mentoring and inspiring our youth to greater heights. It is easy to look at them as a problem but it takes a strong person to see them for them for their potential, despite the problem. If we do not chose to go the path of optimism and work diligently towards collaborating around impacting our youth in a positive way, what Tiger, The Governor of South Carolina, The Governor of New York, The Pastor in Colorado and many others have done to destroy their families, will become the new norm. We are well on our way to this becoming a reality, but as a wise man once said “One person with courage is a majority.” Choose in 2010 to be that one person in your home, in your school and in your community. The world will be better off as a result of your efforts.

Please feel free to forward this Blog to any person or organization you feel would benefit from it. I encourage you to provide your thoughts and comments as well. It is my hope that this will be an on-going conversation that leads to positive outcomes.

Making Connections With People-The Bobby Principle

People collect a lot of things. To the collector, that what they collect is precious. My mother-in-law collects porcelain and wooden elephants. My children can play with anything in her house, but they cannot, and I repeat cannot, touch the elephants. At the facility in which I workout, their is a guy who I will call Bobby (This is not his real name for I did not get his approval to use it.) Bobby has a habit or hobby that has truly made him one of the most popular people at our workout facility, he collect names. This man knows every person who walks into the facility, close to 2,000 on an average week. Not only does he know their names, he knows their birthdays, wedding dates, when birth is given to a child, etc. One day a guy walked in to participate in one of our weekly workouts and Bobby gave this man a birthday card, for his wife! The gentleman and I looked in amazement, but Bobby proceeded to simply say, I remembered that her birthday was today. All we could do is laugh! Bobby can tell you all of the happenings at this organization and is a great resource for all of us. He brings humor to our exercise class and makes the time go by quickly with his constant joking and interacting with, well, everyone. I am quite sure that there is not anything that people in our workout facility would not do for Bobby. He cares about them and in return, they care about him.

Most people are the opposite of Bobby. They are rushed, stressed, do not reach out to others, and speak to their chosen few. This is amazing when you consider the fact that many are business owners, sales people, etc. who could benefit from building relationships with others. Bobby's passion for people has definitely helped me to open up more for no other reason than to be a nicer person. As a business owner it is beneficial as well, because it expands your resource base. From a career standpoint, it can give you more options, because the more people you know, the more connections you have. I know people who never have to place a job application when they are looking for work, they simply have to pick up the phone and call one of their connections. If you are teacher, your students (and the students in other classes) will benefit from you knowing their name, as well as certain aspects of their lives. This might impact your school climate in a positive way.

The moral of this story is how many people are you connecting with? Are you building up a mental database of friends and connections? It is not necessary for you and I to become like Bobby, for he is certainly one of a kind. But you and I can learn from Bobby. By making connections, you are not only being a blessing to other people, one day those other people might just become a blessing to you!.

Educational Relevance is a By-Product of Dream Relevance

I remember as a child desiring to one day become a pro football player. I loved football with a passion and worked hard in the gym as well as studying the playbook just to make sure I did my job correctly. I also remember thinking that I was a pretty good basketball player as well. Between the two, I was going to play for somebody’s pro team in the future! Well, unfortunately the many dreams I had of scoring the winning touchdown or hitting the winning basket did not come to pass. I was pretty good, but not good enough. There is a happy ending to this nominally sad story. I have a college degree, the first one in my family to do so. I have a career in which I am privileged to help thousands of youth and adults annually. I have authored three books (with two more on the way) and I am happily married with three beautiful children. Ladies and gentleman I am proud to say that the life I am living today is directly connected to the fact that I realized the importance of finishing secondary school and graduating from college to achieving my goal of professional sports. IT WAS THE DREAM THAT MADE MY ACADEMICS RELEVANT! If it were not for the dream, I am not sure if I would have graduated from college for I had no personal examples beside the pro-athletes who did it.

Educational relevance is a by-product of dream relevance. From my perspective, they cannot be mutually exclusive. I worked hard in the classroom because I was confident that I could achieve my dream. My children attended a tutorial program called Kumon that was heavily focused on math. 90% of the kids in the program my children attended were from India or parents were from India. I am sure that with India’s emphasis on math and sciences, Kumon kids have a dream of one day working in a technology field or some other field directly associated with math. Their dream is driving them to take this “Grilling”* related tutorial program on top of their regular course work. While many kids are outside playing after school, Kumon kids are pushing themselves academically.

If we want students to see school as relevant, we must help them capture and strategize a dream plan. I have been sharing the same message for close to two decades and I will continue to scream it from the mountaintop until academic and political leaders get it. We will never improve academics with a focus on instructional practices only; we must help kids connect their dreams to the importance of the classroom. Until then, we will continue to see our academic numbers slide in comparison to country’s like India who have helped their kids get a dream. Kumon kids work hard and I am sure it is directly connected to the fact that they have a picture in their minds of where this hard work is taking them.

As always, please contact the office toll-free at 1-866-426-2243 to discuss a passionate staff or in-service training, student assembly or parent motivation event.

* Grilling-A term describing the power of constant repetition to enhance academic retention.

The Power and Example of Character Driven Leaders

I often wonder why adults often have expectations of kids that they do not have of themselves. Over the years, I have found that so many children are told to be respectful, show care and consideration for others and most importantly, honor your parents and those in authority. A kid who follows this model is one who is revered by teachers, parents and society as a whole. The ones who do not are considered rebellious and bucking authority. I often wonder what kind of society we would live in if many adults would live up to same expectations they have of kids. To treat people with respect, exhibit leadership ability, honor people in authority and have compassion for others. There are times when I conduct professional development events that many of the attendees sit in the back of the auditorium or the back tables in a training setting. Many of them are doing this as a way of protesting the authority that asked them to attend the training. Unfortunately, it provides a poor example of leadership. Let's look at this from a national perspective. I am convinced that President Obama is by far the most vilified President in modern history. He is attacked maliciously and people have seem to forgotten that the man has only been in office for 9 months! But we tell our kids, show respect for those in authority while so many of us proceed to bash anyone who we disagree with philosophically. Our kids really have bad examples of respect, honor and integrity today. I say that not to be disrespectful but to highlight the fact that there is a serious dearth of character taking place in our nation. If we ever expect our kids to be respectful, diligent and exhibit leadership characteristics, it is high time more people become examples of these traits. Being an adult is no excuse for lacking character and integrity.

Our country is in desperate need of leaders with character. Character driven adults provide an example that so many of our youth need to see in our schools and homes today. Adults who are willing to respect the opinions of others. Adults who exhibit self control. Adults who are willing to communicate with a child even if that child can be somewhat challenging. This shows that we are the bigger people.

The example established by this model, if implemented correctly, can change the negative environment that is steeped in many organizations and homes today. Let’s get over the paradigm of vitriol that has proliferated so many people. If you care for youth, we need to become the example of what we expect. This is, and always will be, the best way for youth to develop character.

If you are finding that your organization, school, business or home environment is impacted by pessimism, share this E-zine. Please feel free to forward it to someone you know who could benefit from this information. We cannot expect our youth to change if we do not change first. Please call the office toll free at 1-866-426-2243 if you would like to discuss a professional development program for your business or organization or life coaching (parents, managers, etc.) dealing with the power of character driven leadership. We offer coaching programs for individuals or group coaching for organizations.

It Can Be Done!

This year I had a goal to spend the entire year pushing myself physically. I, like most folks, set New Year’s resolutions that I sheepishly admit do not make it past February. I was determined that this would not happen in 2009. I am proud to say with much adulation, I have kept my goal. I workout just about everyday, I have been attending Spin Class (Still Bike) twice a week since January (three times some weeks) and my strength has increased to a level I have not seen since my college years. I am now in cruise control with my workouts, for they have become habitual.

It does not matter if it is a workout; business plan or financial goal, personal accountability towards the goal is the only way you are going to stay with it. Your resolve has to be larger than your excuses. A goal without accountability is like a car without the wheels. You can have all of the ambition in the world, but you will go nowhere. The same process I have implemented for my workouts I am now applying to other areas of my life. I expect to see the same results in these areas as well.

When the New Year arrives, this time do not make a resolution, make a resolve. Your resolve to do something gets stronger the more you do it. We are often our own greatest hindrances so do not allow you to stop you! Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Once this mindset becomes a habit, you can and will achieve any realistic goal you set.

Takeaways From President Obama's Speech

All I can say is amazing! As a kid growing up in Syracuse, NY, I would have loved to hear my Presidents say the things that President Obama said today. Today I did not hear the heart of a President; I heard the heart of a father. When I listen to this President speak, this is what I often hear. I watched the eyes of children as they hung on to his every word. He spoke about the message I try to communicate to students and schools worldwide, find your sense of purpose in life and run with it. We are missing this critical element in education and he nailed it when he talked about Google and Facebook and what people will be saying about your legacy years from now. What a powerful message. Three keys I think that any student can derive from his message for the upcoming school year are:

-You have a responsibility to work hard and do you part. You nation is in need of your effort.
-You have a purpose in life. Find that purpose and realize the role education plays in it.
-Take control of your future. You can do it and we are behind you.

For all the negative naysayers out there, it is time to get over it. It is time for people to stop looking for ways to bash this President and find ways to help our country. Take all the energy that is being used to stop him and allow it to help others. When adults stop acting like kids and learn to work together to improve our country, maybe, just maybe, our kids will start to take us seriously. They watch television and listen to radio shows just like adults. They are tired of the division that has been created by us so called “mature” people. Our country needs a collaborative effort not a negative bifurcation. It is really time for change if we are going to improve our situation. If not, I am convinced that we will one day lose our position as a superpower.

Attitude+Aptitude is Everything

Being a paid speaker and trainer can be interesting indeed. Many people think that if you have the "gift of gab," you can simply open a corner store and watch the business come in. I am often told by people after my speaking events "I do exactly what you are doing." One women told me that "I remind her of herself!" It only takes a few simple questions to realize that these people are often operating off of personal pride. They may have the attitude, but attitude alone does not make you a good business person or anything else. As a matter of fact, attitude alone is frustrating if it is not followed up with action that leads to successful outcomes. You find yourself simply "dreaming" and not "doing." The doers of the world control their future while the spectators watch from a distance. Attitude is the fuel that lights the dream, but aptitude is what will make the dream happen! Knowing the process of making a dream become a reality is one of the most overlooked aspects of success. The process; however, is not fun. The process takes personal sacrifice, humility and in many cases, the desire risk it all. Many of the people who try to compare themselves to me have not quit their jobs, put up their own money to fund the dream or spend thousands of hours reading, taking courses, being mentored and listening to CD's-(MPEG's) or watching DVD's etc. Aptitude comes from experience and a tenacious appetite for learning. I have found that the most successful people I have been around are often the must humble. Most people do not even know that these people have succeeded. They are not broadcasting their success to the world, they are taking the low road and simply maximizing their potential everyday.

One must develop a thirst for learning, risk taking and most importantly humility, if they plan on achieving the goals they are setting out for. Aptitude is the missing ingredient in this new world of "microwave" success. One thing I realize about the microwave; however, is that it starts fast but it ends fast as well. Become a crock pot and let your wisdom and knowledge simmer in the pot. Once it all comes together, you will have a meal that is out of this world. You will also have a lot left over to share with others!

The Importance of Daily Fitness

This morning was a struggle. Getting up to workout today was really tough for some reason. I remember in times past when I started to feel this way I would go into a two-three week hiatus from my workout routine. Not any more. I have kept my new year's resolution to work out daily. Even though I am getting up there in years, I am feeling stronger than ever. Our bodies are like machines. If we take care of the machine, oil the machine and use it within the manufacturer's guidelines, it will bless us for a long period of time. If we abuse it, it will break down and will be of no value to us. I work out because I want to be the best me possible-- everyday. I also do it because I do not want to spend the latter years of my life on hundreds of pills just to function everyday. If you cherish the body that God gave you. It is time to get it in motion. The law of inertia states that "a body in motion tends to stay in motion until acted upon by an outside force." Do not be distracted by the outside forces that will try to limit your potential. Make fitness a part of your daily goals. Most people do not have the energy to pursue their dreams because of the fatigue that comes with a lack of conditioning. Do not let this be your story.



I will continue on this topic for a few days. I must say that I am proud of my wife Pam for becoming AFCA Certified as well as becoming Zumba Certified. She is now teaching fitness classes that will soon be packed out. If you would like to know more about her program visit her website at http://www.zumbawithpam.com/ We are making family fitness a priority and I thank God for my wife's commitment to fitness.

Michael Vick

Today the Philadelphia Eagles signed Michael Vick to play for their team for the next two years. The city is in an uproar over this decision. I do understand the anger that is proliferating throughout the city, but I hesitate to judge to harshly. He unquestionably committed a crime that is unacceptable. But why is it that people chose who they want to forgive? I remember when Bill Clinton committed his act in the White House, many people proclaimed "What he does in private is his business." So this means that the leader of our country and role model to millions can pass with a golden ticket because "what he does in private is his business?" What about the shooting incident with Dick Cheyney. Boy that made it in the news for a day or so and today we here nothing else about it. America decides who they want to persecute and a young man of color who was born in poverty that became rich and famous is a good target. I say we give this guy a chance to redeem himself just like we did Bill Clinton and others. Granted, he made a huge mistake, but the question I would kike to ask many is what would our thoughts be if he was a child of ours or a close family member? It is amazing how the lens changes based upon the way we perceive things. Your thoughts?

My First Blog

The purpose of my BLOG is to make passion and purpose commonplace in the lives of people worldwide. With close to two decades of experience ans a speaker, coach, consultant and author, I have found that unless a person is living a life full of purpose and potential, their lives seem empty and mundane. This BLOG will provide insights from a seasoned professional which will assure that readers will get a daily dose of strategies, good content and much needed motivation. If the aforementioned description fits your profile, come on board and let's start the change process. Your life will never be the same. Lastly, we will on occasion discuss topics that are of interest in our country. I constantly read the papers and watch the news so I am will keep my readership updated on a day to day basis.Please visit and post comments often. My desire is to make this and interactive BLOG that benefits many!